Should You Discuss Politics or Religion in Your Retirement Community?

In an Active Adult Community, we come together from all over the country and from sometimes very different backgrounds, but we have so much in common! Our ages, stage of life, retirement, wanting and needing to be active, new passions, and enjoying life!

But in social settings, some people can really put a damper on things by spouting out their strong opinions on matters of politics and/or religion that are more divisive than they realize.

Please, Don’t Argue Over Politics or Religion

We have friends we really like but don’t share their opinions about politics or religion. We have other friends who do not go there at all and we recently commented to them about how that is a good thing that we enjoy about them. They replied, “Everyone has their opinions. It is best not to get defensive about opinions, and you most certainly are not going to change anyone’s mind about those subjects by arguing with them.”

They are SO right!

I just wish ALL people would realize that when socializing. Many people do not appreciate strong opinions being spewed out by those who are clearly just looking for an argument. It really just dirties the atmosphere and accomplishes nothing!

There are times and places for those discussions about the important subjects of politics and religion, but a social setting – like during a community dance – is not the place.

I have seen some pretty awful examples of people saying hateful things, but I will keep those to myself.

I am sure you’ve seen those kinds of things too.

In Our Retirement Community, We are Not One Religion or One Political Party…and That’s OK!

When either one is dominant in a community, people feel like they can say whatever they want, usually at the expense of those who are not in their group; several who may be sitting at their table.

I have heard of the idea that when considering the factors about which retirement community to relocate to, it may be prudent to consider the local area’s dominant religion and/or politics. If you do not fit in with the majority, then you will be freely put upon because you do not enjoy their majority views. When I heard those concerns, at first I thought that maybe this should not be a concern, because every community has quite a variety of people of every background, coming from all over the country, even the world.

But unfortunately, I see that some people think that being of the majority group gives them the right to condemn those who don’t think like they do. And, what’s worse is they are pretty self-righteous about it.

I don’t usually have anything negative to say about a retirement community. In fact, the majority of what I write about is in favor of moving to active adult communities. However, this is one post that brings up some negatives. It’s not the community’s fault though – people are people. It’s just that we do a lot of socializing here and that gives a lot more opportunity for these issues to come up.

So, What to Do?

You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. You can change your own reaction, response and behavior.

I like the role model of our friends who don’t discuss religion or politics in social settings. Keep yourself from being sucked into an argument. While you cannot control others, you can censor yourself. Allow a person to vent personal frustrations without evaluating their politics.

Stay out of unwanted discussions by steering the conversation away to other topics. Try to bring up a topic you know the other person has an interest in and maybe wants to discuss more.

When in a discussion you can’t avoid, try to see the other person’s side. Ask them questions to find out the reasons they feel that way. Try not to react emotionally.

Remember everyone has their opinions. Opposing viewpoints are not a personal attack on you. Be respectful of others and mindful that others have their own opinion. Yours is not the only one.

If all of that fails, ignore the topic and do not add to the discussion. I did this at an after-dinner discussion and a guy said to me, “You are the only smart one. You are not saying anything.”

Very proud of that!

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”